Are you still hanging onto those skinny jeans that haven’t zipped since two kids ago, or a grudge against a co-worker who snitched on you that’s long past it’s expiration date? Let’s face it, we all have stuff from our past -- unnecessary keepsakes as well as emotional baggage -- that’s cluttering our lives. Ready to make room for bigger and better things? Then get ready to toss.

1.  An outdated Self-Image

Who you were a decade or two ago has little to do with the woman staring back from the mirror today. Yet, many of us harbor old self-images that are hard to shake. Carole Lynch was a mother of two and a respected police officer, but she hung onto the geeky image of herself as a shy teen with a bad perm and no fashion sense well into her 30s. “One day, as I was cleaning the basement shelves and my hand touched my junior high yearbook, I started thinking about all the murders and rapists I’d taken off the streets,” says Lynch, now 53 and living in Jacksonville, North Carolina. “I realized how silly it was to keep a record of my low self-esteem from 20 years ago.” Lynch didn’t just throw away her book of bad memories; she put it through the paper shredder as a ritual for really letting go of the past.

2.  Clothes That No Longer Fit Your Lifestyle

Clothes can be a wistful reminder of days gone by -- the funky poncho that was so fun to wear back in college or the beige power suite with wide lapels. “Women have a hard time letting go of clothes that hold memories, but if you haven’t worn something in a full year it’s probably time to turn the page on it, “says Donna Smallin, author of Organizing Plain and Simple. Someone else is bound to love that poncho you once treasured, and the profits from a consignment shop or yard sale can go towards buying something great that you’ll wear now.

3. Shoulda, Woulda, Couldas

The flipside of negative self-images that no longer fit is the unrealistic childhood dreams we all had that we’ve outgrown. For years, I dreamed of growing up to be a glamorous movie star. But now I wouldn’t trade my part-time writing career, which leaves plenty of free time for my kids and hobbies, for an Oscar. “It’s easy to think of the ‘woulda, coulda, shoulda’s,’ but at some point it’s time to give up past expectations and take inventory of what makes you happy now,” says Jennifer Lawler, author of DOJO WISDOM: 100 Simple Ways to Become a Stronger, Calmer, More Courageous Person. "Part of the beauty of growing older is having a more secure sense of what's really important to you."

4.  Disaster Diet Souvenirs

We all have dieting skeletons in our kitchen pantries -- the bottom shelf packed with low-carb munchies or protein shakes. “We tell ourselves that one day we’ll get back to eating that ‘good’ food, but it may be just a useless reminder of a failed diet that wasn’t right for our body,” says Philip Goglia, author of Turn Up the Heat: Unlock the Fat-Burning Power of Your Metabolism. “Some people crave carbs because their body really does need more of them.”

The same goes for exercise equipment -- the stationary bike you keep tripping over in the garage may be there because it never really worked for your body. (Remember the back aches you used to have?) “When you get a piece of exercise equipment that makes you feel great, you’ll want to use it all the time,” says Terra Wellington, a Phoenix-based wellness and healthy living consultant. “And the same goes for diets -- the right one will make you feel so good it will be easy to stick with.”

5.  The Man You Didn’t Marry

Trinkets, photos and love letters from past boyfriends or ex-husbands may seem harmless. But they may also be symptoms of internal clutter that’s unintentionally hurting your marriage. “It’s easy to read old love letters and idealize the one who got away,” says Wellington. “Your time and energy is much better spent focusing on the positive aspects of what you actually have -- the man who comes home to you every night.” You may have to ask yourself why you’re hanging onto these symbols of the past. Are they reminders of good times with an old friend, or something more that might be standing between you and a deeper relationship with your spouse?

6.  Nagging Expectations

Of course, most of us have something we wish we could change about our spouse. For me, it’s my husband’s amnesia about turning out the household lights before going to bed. “Renegotiating household responsibilities, allowing each partner to toss jobs that just aren’t on their radar screen, can take the pressure off your marriage and leave more room for enjoying each other,” says Cindy Glovinsky, a psychotherapist and professional organizer in Detroit. My husband and I recently negotiated a win-win deal: I’ll do evening light patrol and he’ll cook dinner an extra night every week.

7.  Old Grudges

Everyone has someone who did them wrong lurking in their past -- the co-worker who snitched on you or a girlfriend who stole your guy. Most of us have grudges we hold onto for years, but when it comes down to it, haven’t we all made mistakes? Nearly 75 percent of a University of Michigan study’s respondents believe God has forgiven them for a past misdeed, but only 52 percent have forgiven others.

“Many of us find it difficult to forgive if the offending party doesn’t own up to their actions and apologize,” says Fred Luskin, Ph.D., a psychologist and Stanford researcher who teaches forgiveness seminars. “The trick is to give yourself permission to put your bitterness in the past for your own good -- regardless of the other persons actions. Why give all that power to someone who’s done you wrong?”

8.  Pack Rat Attitude

Sometimes the biggest thing standing in the way of tossing keepsakes we no longer need is our attitude. “Many pack rats keep absolutely everything because they can’t bear to think of their mementos as garbage,” says Gail O’Neill, host of HG-TV’s Mission: Organization. “Finding a second home for keepsakes can soften the blow. Even if you can’t sell something, you can usually give it away.” 

When Maria Rock began remodeling her garage into an apartment for her father, she was at a loss of what to toss. “I couldn’t bear to throw out any of our family collectables -- shelves overflowing with Christmas decorations, stacks of boxes with my two grown children’s faded school papers,” says the 56-year-old horticulturist in Chico, California. “Then, my dad suddenly died and losing something really precious swung everything into focus.”

By the time Rock was done, she had filled an 8-foot trailer bed with dump-worthy disposables. And, she salvaged enough tree ornaments, stuffed animals and ceramic Santas for 20 needy families to have a merrier Christmas. “I realized that even though I got rid of 30 years worth of accumulated things, my family history would always stay in my heart.”

9. Books You’ll Never Read

Great books can be read time and again, but we all have those paperbacks that were at ten for a dollar at a garage sale or titles that looked better on Amazon.com than when they arrived in the mail. But there’s no unwritten rule that says we can’t toss these clunkers until we’ve read them cover-to-cover.

“For years, I collected serious books on topics that I knew I’d never read, but I thought it made me smarter just having them around -- as if through osmosis I would soak up the information,” says Janice Taylor, 50, who, recently gave up dozens of books when she moved from her Brooklyn, New York home of 21 years. “As I started packing, it hit me: having these unread books didn’t actually make me feel intelligent, but quite the opposite.” Taylor felt really smart as she dropped the piles of books off at a high school for underprivileged kids who would actually appreciate them.

10. Toss Your “To Do” List

What would you do without your “To Do” list for just one day? “You wouldn’t forget the things that are really important just because they aren’t written down,” says Glovinsky. And as for all that other stuff? “Let it sit for a day -- it will still be there tomorrow, and you’ll have more energy after a refreshing day off.”

Sidebar #1: Clutter…what clutter?

The first step to solving your clutter problem is admitting you have one. “If you interpret clutter as evidence of your inferiority because you can’t get it under control, of course you're going to want to deny its existence,” says organizing expert Cindy Glovinsky. “After awhile, you don’t even see the mess anymore because it’s there on a daily basis.” If you answer “yes” to at least three of these questions, it’s time to face facts: you may be addicted to clutter.

• Do you constantly have difficulty finding items you need to use?
• Are you unable to clean floors, counters, and tables regularly because of piles?
• Are you ashamed to invite friends into your home because of the clutter?
• Do others complain about disorder in your home or workspace?
• Do you have trouble letting go of things you no longer need?
• Is clutter causing problems with your relationships?

Sidebar #2: Help for Clutter Addicts

• Get a free referral to professional organizer at www.napo.net
• Join a support groups at www.messies.com, www.clutterersanonymous.net, or www.clutterless.org
• Find a dispassionate clutter coach to help you sort through what to keep and toss

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